Esther Udoh massaged my arm and back in spite of my cries and pleas.
“Ignore the scar on the middle finger of your right hand, it’s just a reminder of the fact that you survived.” She said to me. Summons me over to her place, cheer me up and fill my tummy. Never cease to encourage me when I get in one of my moods.
It has been since secondary school and I’m moved to tears just at the thought of how you’ve been supportive with every of your resources and so selfless.
May God grant every of your heart desires in accordance with His will!
TM David-West, I asked God for a mentor and He gave me a huge bouquet. You let me into you and your family, you gave and gave to me, of that, I am not ungrateful. God richly bless you!
Judith, Kemmy, Helen, Precious, D dream, Nedoux, Adaeze, Frances, Bassey, I appreciate every word and prayer. It worked so well!
My siblings, you’re the best!
Bro John, God bless you!
I appreciate every call, chat and mail and every other friends I didn’t mention.
I am very much better and grateful for God’s grace.
Writing is therapeutic, isn’t it?
Enough of me, let’s get down to the next sequel of GUILT.
If you missed the post or you need a reminder, check here.
What are some of the causes of Guilt?
1. For something you did
The most obvious reason to feel guilty is that you actually did something wrong
like inflicting physical and psychologically pain to another.
– Could include violating one’s morals via cheating, gossiping…
* To not feel guilty or remorse in these cases is a sign of psychopathy.
2. For something you did not do but want to.
Thinking about committing an act in which you deviate from your own moral code or engage in behavior that is dishonest, unfaithful, or illegal. E.g, lusting after a neighbor fiancée
*Defending yourself against such feelings may make you actually fall prey to them and make you behave in a way that give you reason to feel guilty.
3. For something you avoid doing
*you don’t want people to be mad at you
*you don’t want to let someone down
*you don’t want people to be upset because you did something
*you don’t want people to think less of you.
4. Reacting instead of responding Situation happens and without really thinking about it you react by feeling guilty.
How many times has something happened, and you just instantly think, “I shouldn’t have done that” or “It’s all my fault” or maybe “I should have known better”. You feel guilty for what you’ve done no matter what it is.
5. Letting another push your button
You’re always going to come across those people who are absolute experts at making you feel guilty. They seem to be able to just pick up on what you feel insecure about.
6. Not forgiving Yourself
A big aspect of guilt can be because you simply don’t allow yourself to make mistakes or you never forgive yourself for things that happened in the past.
7. Reacting with a conditioned response.
Most likely as you were growing up you learned certain things about the world. E.g,“You should think of others before yourself” or that you’re selfish if you don’t instantly help people as soon as they ask.
These are beliefs that you’ve taken as truth and you’ve never taken the time to think about whether it’s a good thought for the situation in which you’re currently involved.
8. Thinking the world “should” be a certain way
This is one that causes a lot of grief. Hanging on to those “should’s” no matter what makes things so much harder than it needs to be. You’ll think something like, “I should have known better”, “I shouldn’t upset people”, “I shouldn’t make mistakes”. Whenever you catch yourself saying “should” know that it’s a clue to why you’re in so much pain. Thinking the world should be a certain way is a waste of energy. It’s the way it is.
9. Focusing on your fear and anxiety
Fear of what will happen if you do or don’t do something. You allow your feelings of anxiety and fear take over your rational thought.
I do hope the above make sense, feel free to throw more light and share your opinion. Till next time when I’ll be sharing ways to deal with GUILT, take care!