The rushing sound from the water closet drowned every other sound but amidst it, Jean heard the faint sound of the customized ringtone and barely pulling up her pants, she scrambled out of the toilet, lost balance and landed on a knee. Despite groaning in pain, she stood, leaped a couple of feet and dived for the phone on the bed.
She dare not miss the call, if not Seyi would think she was hosting a guy and might abandon whatever he was doing and head for the apartment he rented for her.
Who knows what he might do to her this time around? Her forehead still bore plaster as an evidence of his last visit.
‘Hi baby!’ She cooed and massaged her knee ignoring the pain that was radiating from her knees to other part of her body.
‘Why did it take you so long to pick? Why do you sound breathless?’ The voice at other end demanded.
Hehehehe… I shouldn’t be laughing at my imaginative story, I know because that’s what most women and men go through.
Up to two-thirds of women in certain communities in Nigeria’s Lagos State say they are victims to domestic violence.
I saw the article below on NEWS24 yesterday and couldn’t help but share it with little modification.
Early signs that you’re in an abusive
Love is blind – especially when you’re head
over heels. But real danger could be lurking
behind the flowers.
Abuse comes in many forms (emotional, verbal,
sexual and physical). For an abuser,
relationships are about control,
possession and jealousy, but never love.
You may be able to escape and spare yourself
a broken heart and a black eye if you look
out for the following warning signs:
Too much, too soon
You’ve known the guy for less than a few
weeks and he is starting to talk about moving
in together, or marriage, or about kids. You
feel flattered, but pressurised, and he keeps
If he’s pushing for commitment long before
you’re ready to do anything of the kind, this
guy is mightily insecure and is looking to
formalise your relationship to give him a
sense of worth, accomplishment and
ownership over you. For him, this is not
about your happiness
He or she wants to be with you all the time, and if
you want to spend some time with your
friends, he tags along whether he is invited
He or she plans your weekends, your evenings and
springs surprises on you. But he or she never really
asks what you want to do.
You start to feel a bit claustrophobic, even
though the attention is initially flattering.
You start to get the feeling that his or her whole life
is about this relationship.
He showers you with gifts – some of them
huge and expensive and inappropriately
large. This makes you feel uneasy. He is
doing this to create a sense of obligation in
It’s difficult to say no to someone who is so
generous to you. The odd bunch of flowers is
fine, but jewellery and designer items are
inappropriate at the beginning of a
Oh, it’s you
He or she shows up at your work constantly and
comes to your home uninvited on a constant
basis. This is a dangerous sign, as these
could be the beginning stages of stalking
He phones constantly (in fact, he probably
phoned you the first time the very day after
he met you) and sends text messages all the
time. This is a preamble to possible future
controlling/stalking behaviour. He or she gets
agitated when they can’t get hold of you.
Your friends/family express reservations
More than one friend tells you to take it
slowly. They can’t quite put their finger on
it, but something about this guy or lady bothers
them. They might even find him or her a little
creepy, but are too polite to say so.
He has road rage attacks, and is aggressive
to people who do not do exactly as he wants
He or she feels they’re is right about everything and
things that go wrong are always someone
This guy has serious ego and control issues
and is paranoid.
He or she breaks things. The
message behind this is clear: this is what
happens when I don’t get what I want, and
you could be next.
He or she has few long-term friends
His or her friendships all seem relatively recent. He or she
fights with everyone and they stop being his
friends. Once or twice, OK, but all the time?
He or she will be fighting with you next. That’s a
He or she is also quite secretive about his own life,
friends, family and connections and says only
nasty things about his or her exes if they speak
about them at all. There’s history they
don’t want you to find out about.
He or she isolates you
They make it uncomfortable for friends or
family to visit, and starts isolating you by
criticising everyone you know, or telling you
they are not good for you. This is done very
subtly, and is often noticed by others before
you pick up on it. He also starts belittling
you in front of others.
Jealousy makes you nasty
He or she watches your every move and starts
accusing you of flirting with other men or women, or
cheating on him or her.
They starts to try and exercise control over
what you wear, how you do your hair, where
you go and with whom. If you don’t comply
They will start to insult you and possibly even
start calling you names.
Get out, and get out fast! It gets more and
more difficult the longer you stay. And no,
nothing you do is going to change or placate
this guy except you’re the Holyspirit. He doesn’t want to be placated.
Don’t even try. Just run, flee as a matter of fact!
There goes my maiden post on relationship, yippie!!! (Clap hands enthusiastically)