FOR ME…

YOU MAY UNDERSTAND OR NOT.

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When I am only valued by my mistakes…
When I am good and loved as long as I hold my breath even as I suffocate because they asked me to.
When it is Okay for them to remind me of every mistake I made at every slight but it is Okay for them to bring their mistakes to devotion to be prayed upon.
When it is Okay for him especially to exaggerate and spread all around things at the expense of my feelings and to gain sympthaty and gratify self.
Even when I suffer migraine, depression on daily basis,
Even when I try to close my eyes and all my eyes do is well until the dam breaks .
Even when I can’t sleep despite all the therapy I tried.
Even when I am so… so pushed that I feel like bolting.
Pheeew…
Now the pit is dug and can you imagine, 
he is pointing a finger at me  forgetting that 3 is pointing back at him,(things get better when u learn to accept ur part when things go wrong)
also forgetting the days when he was digging shovel by shovel.
Persecution  is more painful when is from one’s houseful, yep! Like  those that should stand by you.
It’s even more annoying to be shove aside like u know nothing.(place where d wall cracks )
But I like God o, Seriously, probably a reason I call him my Hope against hope.

He was there for me…now my eyes are clouded as it comes back to me like a flash in a pan.
Because without him, I would have been in a mental home or worst still died.
I live and have risen, I casted every weight that held me down.
I have learnt how to switch off my ears to things that can weigh me down.
B. Basil, I appreciate ur call and thanks esp for not judging me unlike some others.
I Thank God for God, my life is graven upon the palms of his hands and my walls are continually before him.
After all, na God Sure pass.
End of discussion!!! *smiles and winks*
You may understand or not but importantly, there is something to take to heart.
11:43pm, 20/6/2014

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